So today, I'd like to begin with a ridiculous question. It's ridiculous because I already know the answer is kind of rhetorical, so you don't need to answer out loud or raise your hand, but to just get us all on the same page. I know the answer, but have you ever lost your way, on your way somewhere? Yes. We all have. Sandra's here. She would tell you that sometimes I lose... Because usually we lose our way on our way somewhere that we've never been before. But she would tell you that oftentimes I lose my, way on my way to places I've been multiple times before. Maybe you can relate to that. Now, we don't usually lose our way much anymore driving because there's not much excuse because of GPS in our phones and everything.
But and there continue to be places where you can lose your way. Hiking, if you ever hike. In fact, if you hike a lot, you don't lose your way. But if you ever... If you don't hike a lot and you decide you're going to gonna hike, and one of the most terrifying things in the world is to lose your way hiking. I've done that as well. Parking garages. You can lose your way in a park. Yeah. In a parking garage. So a lot of you do what I do, and I'm not too embarrassed to tell you. I get my phone out and I take a picture of level four section, whatever, it's red. Here's a picture of the car which is next. Because it's easy to get lost in a parking garage, and if you've lost your way in a big parking garage, it can be be terrifying.
The point is, it's, we've all had that experience and we'll continue to have that experience. But here's the interesting thing about all that. The interesting thing is we never know the precise moment when it happens. When we've crossed over or crossed the line from, I know the way to lost my way. You don't know exactly when you're lost. You don't know exactly when you go from not lost to lost. And whether it's a parking garage or hiking or whatever it might be, the truth is, by the time we realize we've lost our way, we've been lost for quite some time, right? Anyway, and you can guess where I'm going with this. What's true of losing our way when we're going to a physical location, what's true of losing our way on our way to a physical location is true of losing our way in life. Specifically, we're lost before we know it. We're lost before we know we're lost. And when I say losing your way in life, I mean like your entire way with every part of your life or maybe losing your way in one area of life, you’re lost before you know it. Your marriage is kind of lost before you realize that it's been lost you just didn't know it.
She didn't know it. He didn't know it. But suddenly it dawns on you, "Oh. This is not going well." This can be true of any area of life. You realize, "We're living in the wrong direction," assuming it's the right direction and you don't know it at the time. Your foot's on the gas, smile on your face, playing the music loud and moving, actually moving away from the life that you want. Moving away from the relationship you want. Moving in the opposite direction of what you ultimately want. And while it's happening, because you don't know what's happening while it's happening, and I don't know what's happening, these two things collide. But they can exist. They can coexist. We're both confident and clueless at the same time. Now you know this is possible because you've met people who are confident and clueless.
You watch... In fact, when you were... I didn't know you then, but when you were 16, you were confident and you were clueless, but you had an excuse. Frontal lobe development is a real thing, okay? Before there's frontal lobe development, we were all confident and clueless. But it's not just an adolescent thing, it's an adult thing as well, because in some area of your life or your life in general, you can actually be moving in the opposite direction you should be moving in and do it with confidence, but you're clueless that's happening because we don't know when we've crossed that line from know the way to not know the way. And here's the other strange thing. And this is where maybe some of you are today or maybe you're there today. When we begin to suspect that something's off, when we begin to suspect that something's not exactly right when something that started off as magical, isn't magical anymore.
In fact, it started off as magical and now it feels a bit medicinal like this is something I have to do, and then it's something you feel like you can't live without.. And when that happens, when we realize, "Hey, maybe I've lost my way." You probably wouldn't use that terminology, but at that point you would later. But when you begin to wonder and suspect, you know what we do? We just look the other way.
And what we... Essentially, we just move faster. And if we're lucky, even though it doesn't feel like we're lucky at the time, if we're lucky, somebody who loves us comes along and says, "Hey, hey, I... " They try to warn us. They try to point out the fact that... And it's interesting, they try to point out the fact that things aren't going as well as we think they are, thinking that maybe we don't see what they can see. We're not dialed into what they're dialed into. And when they try to warn us, this is so interesting to me anyway, when they try to warn us, they actually use directional language. They use highway language. They say things like, "Hey, I don't think you're headed in a good direction." "Hey, hey, I don't think the path you're on and that you and your wife and your husband are on. I don't think the path you're on, I don't think the way you're doing family and the way you're disciplining your kids, Hey, it's none of my business, but hey, I don't think the path you're on is going to gonna get you where you want to go." Or maybe they're super direct. "You just need to turn your life around."
And our response is, "Thank you so much for not minding your own business. I'm fine." I mean, how many times have you said that or heard that? "No, no, no, I'm fine." And you've heard, I'm fine from people and you know they're not fine, but they think they're fine. And maybe somebody has told you, "You're not fine, but you're sure you're fine." Now, here's something really fascinating, at least I think this is fascinating. 3000 years ago, not 2000 years ago, when Jesus was around. 3000 years ago, king Solomon writes out a statement or dictates a statement that is so fascinating.
Listen to what King Solomon says. This is amazing because it's true then, and it's true now, and it's a bit harsh. But here's what he writes. He says, "There is a way which seems right, looks right, feels right in the moment. There is a way that seems right to a man or to a woman, or to a high school senior, or to newlyweds or to... " Hey, well this is how we think we should raise our children.
There's always a way that seems right, that feels right, that makes perfect sense to us. And because it makes perfect sense to us, we choose it, we embrace it, we commit ourselves to it. And we've all done this. Every single one of us, we didn't think of it in these terms, but we've all chosen a way. We've chosen a way to live, if you're dating, you've chosen a way to date, you've have chosen a way to entertain yourself, you've chosen the schedule, you've chosen the way that you play, you've chosen the way you spend your money, you've chosen the way that you parent. We all choose our way. And the reason we choose those particular ways for those particular areas of our life is because, well, it just seems right to us. Either it's because everybody else is doing it, it's a reaction to what our parents did or maybe we've embraced what our parents did but it just seems right to us.
When you... If you can remember when you started dating way back, wasn't it true the way you dated, you assume that it was the right way to date because it was going to gonna lead you to something greater. Hopefully somebody great when you got married. If you're married, you were confident the way that you were doing marriage was going to gonna lead to happily ever after.
So we all choose a way. And the reason we choose the ways we choose is because, he's right. They seem right to us. But then, as you probably know, there's a dot, dot, dot 'cause there's another part to this. I'm going to gonna give you my version because it's easier and softer and kinder than his version. So my version is, there is a way that seems right to a person. But just because it seems right, doesn't mean that it is right. And this is why you can be on your way, and I can be on my way, the wrong way and think it's the right way, because it seems like the right way. "There is a way that seems right to a man," Here's how he finishes it, "but it's end is the way of death." Merry Christmas.
[laughter]
Look at what he does here. It's so interesting. It's a death end, or we would say it's a dead end. There is a way that seems right to us that has the potential to kill us. But for most of us, the ways that we've chosen aren't gonna kill us. But they have the potential to kill something important to us. They have the potential to kill a relationship that's important to us. There's a way to do marriage that has the potential to kill your marriage.
There's a way that seems right to you that could kill your career, destroy your health, destroy who you see in the mirror. And we're all old enough that, I think, we all know this is true. This isn't like, "Wow. I've never thought of this." We've all at some point in our lives, chosen a way that we thought was the right way that turned out not to be the right way. We were confident we chose the right way. And when we chose it, it was the right way until it wasn't. And then boom. Dead end. And when we realized it, because we've all lived long enough to have bumped into some of these dead ends because of ways we chose. When we bumped into it, when we finally recognize, when it dawned on us, "Hey, we chose the wrong way." Do you know what kinda language we used?
We used the same language that the people who tried to warn us use. This is fascinating to me. We use that same terminology now to describe our own lives. "I'm not sure where to turn." And this is a big one. "I don't know how to get back to the person I was. And maybe this is you today and by the person I was because there was a time in your life where you had peace with yourself." And you may not have used this language, but there was a time in your past where you had peace with God that you liked the person you saw in the mirror. And now you realize you're not that person and you're not moving toward that person and you're trying to figure out how to get back to the person you used to be.
Or we use this kind of language. "I don't know how to get through this." And this is something that you created or that I created. It's like, "Oh, no. I've made a mess. It's not 100% my fault, but at least 20% of this is my fault." The other person would say, 80% my fault. It doesn't matter. "I have a mess on my hands and I need to get through this. I don't know how to get through this. I don't know how to get past this. Right? I'm not... " See, the language is all the language, "I'm not in a good place." Maybe today you would say that's, "Hey, I'm not in a good place. I need to change course. I'm willing to acknowledge I lost my way." And again, this is the kind of language we use when we think about those moments, those times, that season of life when we've we lost our way.
But again, maybe this isn't a distant memory, maybe it's not a recent memory. Maybe for you today, it's a current reality. But if you're at the place where you're willing to acknowledge, "You know what? Even though I'm an adult, even though I should know better, even though it's embarrassing, yeah. Solomon's right. There is a way that seems right to a man and I chose one of those ways. And as it turns out, it's not the right way and it is a dead end. And I'm not sure what to do."
Congratulations. You've already taken the first step required to turn your life around. You've acknowledged where you are. Because here's a reality for all of us. This isn't a religious thing or a Christian thing. You can't get to where you want to be until you recognize where you are. You can't even begin to move in the direction you need to move until you realize where you are. You cannot get to where you want to wanna be until you recognize where you are. So this is step one, and it's a huge step. And maybe in the next few minutes, or maybe already, you're willing to acknowledge, "You know what? I chose a bad way."
Now, some folks never get there. You know that. Some folks never get to the point where they're willing to recognize or admit that they chose the wrong way. So they just stay lost.
And people who are lost, chose the wrong way, do you know what they do? They blame everybody else because of their problems. It's not working. They're not happy. It's not working out. It's not getting better. And if it's not working out and it's not getting any better, then somebody's to blame. And it's very difficult to look in the mirror and say, "Ah, there's the person that's to blame." So they just stay lost and they blame everybody else and everything. If you're a person who... I know, I'm kind of meddling. If you're a person, every once in a while, somebody who's close to you says, "You're never wrong." And your first thought is, "Correct."
[laughter]
"I'm never wrong." You've chosen a way that is a dead end and you don't know it. Now, the question that some of you are asking right now, I hope you're asking is, "Andy, what in the world, what in the world does any of this have to do with Christmas? We are depressed. Okay? You've dredged up all this stuff from my past, or I'm having a hard time not elbowing her or elbowing him. I'm thinking about my kids. I'm thinking... And the thing is, this whole thing of choosing the right way and the right and the wrong way, it has everything to do with Christmas because wait. Here's the thing. Look up here. When we think of trying to figure our way forward or our way back or trying to find the way or figure out the right way, we think in terms of decisions we need to make, we think in terms of habits, we need to break, we think in terms of information we need to get, advice we need to get, goals we need to set, habits to begin." And all of that's good.
And all of that's necessary, but here's the good news of Christmas. At Christmas, we're presented with another way. We're presented with a person who claimed, this is amazing, at Christmas, we're introduced to someone who not only claimed to know the way we should live, but claimed to be the way we should live. He claimed to be the way forward.
Now, I wanna read a couple of verses. When I read these sentences to you, for just a moment, if we could, I don't want you to hear me reading the Bible to you. I want you to hear me expressing the thoughts of a real person who had a real genuine experience with Jesus of Nazareth. That John, who spent three or three and a half years walking and talking with Jesus of Nazareth, not storybook character, historical character, John's an older man now, and he's probably dictating this, not writing it himself. And he's trying to put into words, he's trying to put into words what it was like to be with someone that he was convinced was God in a body.
So can you picture it? An older man, he's probably close to the end of his life, most of his friends are dead, Peter's dead, the apostle Paul is dead, he doesn't know where the rest of them are. He's been arrested, he's, in some ways, he's an outlaw, but maybe by this time he's in prison, we don't know exactly when he wrote this. And he finally gets it right, he says, okay, I think I got it, write this down. The logos, the word, the everything we've been taught, everything we'd imagined became a person and He camped out with us, He pitched his tent with us, He made his dwelling among us and we, not we, we, him, we, and his guys, and we have literally seen his glory, the glory of the one and the only son.
In other words, we gotta slow down. Guys, he's writing, he wants them to understand this, he wants us to understand this. We camped with Him, we ate with Him, we searched for firewood with Him, we repaired our sandals together, we listened to Him, we cried with Him, we, I mean, we saw the whole thing.
We watched Him, we followed Him, and when all was said and done, after looking at this whole three and a half years and watching him die and thinking it's over, then residents, meeting the resurrected Jesus and having lunch, breakfast with him on the beach, when the whole thing is said and done, as crazy as this sounds, he's saying to us, "We are convinced that he came from the father to planet earth, to be with us, so we could understand the father." And then we don't have time to unpack this.
This is like a whole series of messages that I can't even excavate all the goodness in this. And this Jesus who came from the father is full of grace and truth. See, we think in terms of the balance of grace and truth, gotta have grace, gotta have truth. He says, no, no, no, that's wrong. See, that's how we think, because we have like the truth church, where you're very dogmatic, here's truth, truth, truth. It's like, "Oh, I need a little grace." We run over here to the grace church, grace, grace, grace, we just love you, everything's fine. Ah, a little permissive, need to go back over to the truth church. And John is like, "No, no, no, He's 100% all of it. He never dumbs down the truth, and He never dials down the grace. And when you're in the presence of Jesus, you're aware of your sin, and you're aware of the love of God at the same time.
It's overwhelming because He's full of grace, and He's full of truth. And all I'm saying is this, the Father in some way showed up in a body and revealed himself to us." This is why, sorry to go on and on and on. This is why many of the things that Jesus said, we wrestle with, and they understood. Because when you spend time, that much time with someone, you understand the nuance, you understand the implications. You understand when they say this, that they're referring back to and there's context for all of that. And so in one of the most famous narrative, pieces of narrative from the life of Jesus. Jesus makes a statement we have all heard a thousand times. And we have a hard time wrapping our minds around, but John didn't, John records it. Matthew didn't, Peter didn't. Because they were in the presence of God in a body, God who would come to earth to dwell with us. So in the night of his arrest, a conversation we talk about all the time, Jesus lets them know, "I'm leaving." And they're like, "Oh no, no, no, you can't leave. If you leave, we're in trouble. You're our security blanket." He's like, "No, I'm leaving." And they're like, "Well, where are you going?" And Jesus is like, "You know where I'm going." They're like, "We don't know where you're going." "You do know where I'm going." "We don't know, and you know how to get there. What do you mean we know how to get there?
We don't even know where you're going. So how could we possibly know the way to get there?" And finally, they just can't, they can't get it. They go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, and Jesus smiles. And he says, "Look, look, you know the way. You know the way." And Thomas finally says, "Lord, no, we don't know where you're going. So how could we possibly know the way? You're saying we know the way to where you're going. We don't know where you're going. This doesn't make any sense."
And then Jesus smiles, and he leverages this question, to make a broader point that they understand that I think sometimes we miss. Friends, he says, "You do know the way." And he smiles, I think he smiles, "Friends, you do know the way. You're looking at it. You're talking to it. You just spent three years back and forth from Judea to Galilee to the river Jordan. Come on, you know the way. You're in the presence of the way. You've been camping with the way. Come on, after all this time, Thomas, you're still asking, show us the way? You know by now, come on guys." Here it is, famous verse alert. I am the way. So here's where we get lost. When we've lost our way as parents, in our marriage, with our career, with just our life in general, do you know what we want? We wanna fix.
We wanna plan, give me a plan. And we wanna list. We wanna self-help book. So we all do this. So you just Google it and there's 50 million resources to help you. And your heavenly father has offered you something so much better, and me something so much better. Do you know what he's offered us? He's offered us himself. He sent himself, he became one of us to show all of us the way back. The way back to that place in your life you used to be where you were at peace with yourself and you were at peace with God and you're thinking I'll never get back there. And Jesus says, "I am the way back. The way through, the way through the mess you have made. You're at the point where you're transparent and honest enough and secure enough and mature enough to go, okay. I'm not just part of the problem, I'm a big part of the problem, but you know what? Okay, it's a mess. And I don't know if there is a way through this.
And Jesus would say to you, they understood this." He's like, " am the way through this. And I'm the way forward to the life that you dreamed of, that you undermined yourself because you saw a way that seemed right to you and you bought it." And here's the great news. His way, this way, we talk about it all the time. It requires a different starting point. We don't start with Google. The starting point that Jesus offers us, it's a different way.
It begins with a different question. Instead of asking the question that we all ask, I ask it too, I'm not being critical. Instead of asking the question, what should I do? What should I do? I've made a mess of my life. I need to get back to where I was. I need to go forward. I need to fix this. I need to repair this. What should I do? What should I do? Here's the better question and this is the question they understood and this is why his language made perfect sense to them. Because they could all remember the day when Jesus extended this invitation to them personally. The question is, now what am I gonna do? The better question is who will I follow? Who will I follow?
Don't just pick away. Don't try to work your way out or work your way through until you've answered the more fundamental question. Not what are you gonna do? Or what are you gonna do different?
Who are you gonna follow? And decide before you make things worse by attempting to change things by choosing yet another way that seems right to you. And here's the other amazing thing. His way doesn't begin with a commitment to turn your life around. You already tried that. It begins with a decision to follow. It begins with, we talk about it all the time. It begins with surrender.
Practically speaking, I think it begins with a prayer. Either the prayer my parents taught me as a kid or a prayer similar to this prayer and my parents taught me to pray this so long ago. So early, I don't remember when we started. And true confession or confession. I pray this prayer every day still. It's partly just habit. I pray this prayer usually more than one time a day. It's this prayer. "Heavenly Father, show me your will for my life. I've tried the way that seemed right to me. Show me your way." Look up here, we're almost done. At Christmas, we celebrate God becoming one of us to show us the way forward, to show us the ways of the Father. How many times have I told you, I'm gonna keep telling you, if you wanna know what God is like, you just follow Jesus through the gospels.
So at Christmas, you are invited to follow the one who demonstrated and illustrated for us the ways of God, the ways of the Father and the way to the Father. Because God became flesh and he dwelt and lived in history among us.
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