Let’s face it: relationships are difficult.
Maybe that’s why more and more people are avoiding them altogether.
But there’s something you can start doing right now to prepare you for the relationship you’ve always wanted.
And it begins by defining the hopes and dreams you have for your future.
When you envision your future relationship, what does it look like?
City or suburbs?
Kids or no kids?
Holidays together or with extended family?
You probably have answers. But here’s some not-so-breaking news: your future partner has answers too. And it’s very likely there will be some differences between your goals and theirs.
But the happiest couples you know have figured out a way to put each other in front of their own priorities. When it comes to the decisions they make together, they don’t compete to be first in line. They race to the back of the line.
Let’s be honest; that isn’t easy. Putting someone else’s interests before our own doesn’t come naturally to us.
Isn’t it true that no one rushes into a relationship to fulfill someone else’s needs? We don’t dream of becoming the perfect person for someone. We want to find the perfect person for us.
When we attempt to force our own goals on our partner, we’re really saying, “What I want is more important than what you want.”
So, what do we do with all the things we want for our future?
Just get rid of ‘em?
But we have to be ready to loosen our grip. When decisions must be made, we have to be ready to let the other person have a seat at the table.
And in those conversations, both of you will have some choices to make. Will you cling to your own objectives? Or will you be willing to put their interests above your own?
In a relationship characterized by mutual submission, the things that are important to them will become important to you. No one will owe each other anything because both of you have made a habit of putting each other first.
When we enter a new relationship open to the hopes, dreams, and desires of the other person, we take the pressure off. We don’t expect our partner to fulfill our own priorities. Instead, we prioritize the person over the type of relationship we had in mind.
It’s not natural. It’s not easy. But if you’re looking for a relationship that keeps both of you happy year after year, it’s worth a try.
It’s your move.