Four Simple Choices for a Thriving Relationship

When it comes to relationships, things can get complicated. 

Each person brings unique opinions, desires, and expectations for what they want the relationship to look like—and chances are, these don’t line up perfectly. 

Why? Because you’re both shaped by different personalities, experiences, and habits.

Here’s an important secret for you to remember when you’re in a relationship: every person’s actions make perfect sense to them—even if they make zero sense to you. 

Humans have a natural progression when it comes to action. Experiences lead to thoughts, thoughts develop into beliefs, beliefs inform our expectations, and expectations fuel our behaviors. But when those expectations are mismatched, they create a perfect storm for misunderstandings. 

The great news is that no matter how different two individuals are, there are four powerful choices you can make to help you navigate your beliefs and expectations, prioritize your partner, and strengthen your relationship.

1. Choose to believe you owe each other everything but are owed nothing in return.
   
   • When both partners approach the relationship with a mindset of giving rather than keeping score, you create an environment where generosity and support thrive.
2. Choose to put each other first, even if that means choosing to be last.
   • When you consider your partner’s needs before your own, you build a foundation of trust and mutual respect.
3. Choose to value the win for the relationship, not just yourself.
   • When one person wins, the relationship often loses. When you shift your focus from being “right” to prioritizing the success of your relationship, you will find solutions that work for both of you.
4. Choose to always believe the best of each other.
   
   • Trusting that your partner has good intentions, even during conflicts, helps reduce misunderstandings and resentment. Make it a point to approach disagreements with a mindset of curiosity and empathy rather than suspicion.

Each of the four choices allows you to prioritize the real person in front of you rather than what you believed your relationship should be. They remind you to pause, take a step back, and consider what experiences and beliefs have brought each of you to this moment. And when you consistently make these choices, you will have a happy relationship in every season of life!